There are many changes that occur when raising kids. One is when they stop calling you “daddy” and just shorten it to “dad.” In general, even this small change signals a transition as they move into pre-teen and then teen years.
As a father, here are some — happens to be 12 — questions that I challenge myself with on a frequent basis, usually daily.
- Am I setting a good example for my sons?
- Are my sons setting a good example?
- Am I setting standards too high or too low in what to expect from them?
- Am I being a good husband?
- Am I growing in my knowledge, in my way of doing things?
- How am I encouraging my sons to be better, do more?
- How am I encouraging myself to be better, do more?
- Am I helping my sons develop a leadership and community attitude?
- Am I giving them the opportunity and challenge to strengthen their faith and inner Spirit?
- Am I strengthening my faith and inner Spirit?
- Am I holding my sons accountable for their actions and choices?
- Do I have the accountability mechanisms in place for myself?
All this is centered in my love for them and my hope for a spirit-filled life.
To keep doing our best as parents, there needs to be a mutual challenge, ensuring we keep ourselves on the right track as well as our kids.
What questions do you ask yourself as a parent?
You sound like a great dad. Once the kids enter puberty, they begin a 12-year period of preparing for adult life. I call it “the teen journey.” The passage is of immense importance and full of peril. The last phase of brain development starts and ends during that period – the part of the brain that reasons and foresees consequences, i.e., the intellectual part of the brain. During the period they build this foundation by actually thinking critically, which is hard to do because that part of the brain is truly “under construction.” So they’ll not only need unconditional love, they’ll need help doing that kind of thinking so they can wire their own brains for it. If this doesn’t happen, the construction will be minimal and at age 24 their ability to think well will be minimal. Right now, before it happens, is the time to learn about this, and to consciously build your own communication skills. I go on and on about this in “The Teen Journey” category of my blog. Best wishes!
Denny, I do recommend your posts on Teen Journey. I have learned a lot from them. For others, just click on Building Personal Strength under my blogroll to learn more. Grateful for the work that you do! Thanks! Jon