Even good parents have some bad habits. No one is perfect, and we need to learn from our parents – good and bad. The learning needs to translate into action, using the good and making it better while taking the bad and stopping it.
We age, get married, and start our own family. There may be things we remember that we didn’t like about our upbringing, so we change. In general, today, some of the bigger changes are probably less spanking (a good thing, I believe) and more giving of stuff (a bad thing, I believe).
Beyond the obvious things, there may be other questionable habits which carry over from generation to generation. The bad habits can come in two ways. One way may be how children are spoken to, given responsibility, or earn allowance. Another way is how parents work with each other or develop their relationship.
Sometimes, whatever the bad habits, they can be inherited just by fact that they are pulled through – consciously or unconsciously – as it becomes our turn to develop a marriage or parent a child.
Stopping the cycle of bad parenting or relationship habits is essential from generation to generation.
Two thoughts on how to do this…
First, identify what your parents did well and not so well. Discuss those habits with your spouse. Decide what habits to stop. Decide how to change the direction, the habits, and the future.
Second, parents should sit down with their sons and daughters as they become newly minted parents and tell them what they thought they did right and wrong in their parenting or in their relationship. Pass on the respective lessons. Pass on the insights. Be open, honest, and caring.
Both may be tough conversations but will pay off big time – now and in the future.
Stop a cycle of bad habits. Elevate. Engage a new, improved cycle. Repeat.