You may be familiar with the words from a prayer: “…by what we have done, and by what we have left undone.” Each time I say or hear those words, my mind embraces both sides of this equation, with more thought given to what “we have left undone.” There is something about these words that send a shiver of reality through me.
We have control over things we do and those things we do not do, yet the undone things seem to be more damaging. Maybe it is because we have not even tried to do them.
So, I started to poke around the done and undone thoughts more and, if you haven’t learned this about me yet, I love a 2 x 2 matrix! For me, it helps clarify things, putting two concepts on different axes and see what unfolds.
When I plotted the activity – Done or Undone, a comparison was needed, and suitability seemed to be the best fit. What I mean by suitability is this: If the action was taken or not, was it the “suitable” thing to do either way? The two dimensions then became:
- Activity: Whether or not an activity was done
- Suitability: Whether or not it was the right thing to do
This matrix produces an interesting mix of the impact of our approach.
- Engage Trouble: In this quadrant, we are doing an activity that is just plain wrong. Simply stated, we should not be doing what we are doing. It is an inappropriate activity in some fashion – legal, moral, etc.
- Dodge Trouble: When we are here, we are not doing an activity, and it is a good thing we are not. What we may be thinking about doing, or someone may be encouraging us to do, is best left undone. In other words, we are not getting pulled into taking an action that will cause us or someone else harm. It is a good thing that we left this activity undone.
- Shirk Responsibility: In this quadrant, we are not doing something we should be doing. It is the right thing to do, yet something is holding us back from doing it. This is at least, if not more, dangerous than engaging trouble. Whether it is stubbornness or ignorance or something else, we are being petty or self-centered. This is the place where Pablo Picasso was right: “Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.”
- Embrace Responsibility: Whether or not you like the word “engage,” this is the place where you are living an engaged life. We do what needs to be done and, hopefully, more than just the basic needs of life. The embrace of doing the right things in life is something that comes from within, connects with our mind and, eventually, exposed through our actions. It is leading a spirited life!
The reality is the 2 x 2 matrix should not contain the same sized boxes. Instead, the Embrace Responsibility one should dominate the others.
The quadrants should really look like this:
Funky looking matrix, I agree, but life isn’t perfect. We will be in each quadrant from time to time. We just need to ensure our Done-Right quadrant is always larger. It is about living large!
Another important point is that embracing responsibility does not equate to being boring. Quite the opposite. It should be about embracing life fully and spiritedly.
It is about personal leadership in our life.
Hi Jon,
I am new here. Came over after she nominated you as one of sunshine.
Well done, I can see why you are on her list. Your posts are really objective and helpful. This one reminds me of Stephen Covey’s time management matrix. It does help us see our own activities better. I think your matrix also provides another perspective in terms of relevance.
Hi Jimmy and welcome! Thank you for stopping by and for leaving a comment. Your insights and thoughts are appreciated! I am glad that Harleena did that as well, because I have enjoyed visiting the other sites like yours as well. We seem to be on a similar path of trying to live, and encourage others, to live a spiritful life! Thank you! Jon
This is a really wonderful matrix Jon – very insightful. Where would choosing to not do something fit? Seems to me there is a potential trap in the “right” quadrants – if we are not careful we can have a huge upper right quadrant and instead of living large we can be living a life of obligation rather than commitment. Or if we don’t do something even though we think it is right to do it (based on our sense of obligation or someone elses standards) we can end up overwhelmed with guilt. What do you think?
Susan, Thanks so much for your comments and insights! I agree that we need to guard against living a life of obligation; it doesn’t sound too exciting. I believe that we need to be active in deciding and moving items that we may be ignoring (shirking) to the upper right. So, we are not leaving things that are right to do undone; we are moving them to the right and, more importantly, we are doing them! Does that make sense? The essential point is that we must live a spirited life! Thanks again! Jon
Interesting concept Jon!
I think we all do tend to shirt a few of things we know we have to do, for various reasons. I guess we just don’t feel the need, or want to, or are bound down by other problems in our lives. However, learning to move in the right direction or getting those undone things- done, sure does take a lot of courage and determination.
Thanks for sharing 🙂
Harleena, It does take a lot of courage and determination, I agree. The traits and attitudes to live life large are essential ingredients… maybe that wil be my next post! Thank you for your comment and support!
I love matrices too. I also like to think about both ends of a continuum such as you point out – activity done is as important to note as is activity not done. Same with suitable and unsuitable. As you rightly point out this is a dynamic matrix that will vary for people and across situations and we each need to figure out in the moment what is the most suitable action or inaction in any given moment…
Thanks, Shalini, for your comment! I am grateful for your insights and voice in the conversation.